The Ultimate Guide to Taking Care of Yourself

There’s a whole lot of talk out there about self-care these days. In a lot of ways, it’s a good thing. The past year created enough stress and mental hurdles to bring many of us to our knees (especially moms trying to work from home–don’t get me started). But when it comes to taking care of yourself, sometimes I’m uncomfortable with what we’re being taught that REALLY means. 

Sure, a hot bath with some trendy oils and dimmed lights is nice (obviously). But, self-care’s about a lot more than grabbing 10 minutes to do something that feels good. And, I mean, isn’t bathing just basic daily hygiene? We’ve decided that’s a luxury? 

Self-care, to me, is more about tuning in to what your body needs to stay strong and understanding what your mind needs to stay steady. It’s listening to how you talk to and treat yourself, and showing yourself the kindness and grace you deserve. It took me a long time to really understand that self-care isn’t just your actions, it’s your thinking, too. Realizing that has been a game-changer in my life. So today, I’m sharing my ultimate guide for taking care of yourself with you.

Start with the Basics

If you want to really start taking care of yourself from your head to your heart, you’ve got to start with some basics. I’m talking about the “eight hours of sleep, plenty of water, eating real food, and moving your body” kind of basic. I know this stuff sounds obvious, but honestly, so many of us skimp on things like a good night’s sleep or taking time to make a balanced meal. 

I get it: When you’re working, juggling kids and their schedules, and trying to keep your head on straight, it’s easy to move those self-care basics down your list of priorities. 

Just this past weekend, I got so wrapped up in a project that I skipped lunch and ended up devouring half a box of Cheez-Its at 4 p.m. Not my finest moment. Seriously, though… How are those things so addictive? You won’t be perfect at self-care, but aspiring to give your body what it needs to thrive is square one in self-care. 

So, do what you need to and make it happen. Buy that giant water bottle from Amazon and keep it by your side all day. Get your butt in bed as early as you’re able. Get in some yoga, or hey, just commit to a solid booty shaking session to your favorite music to move your body. (Ice Ice Baby, anyone??)

Trust me, when you’re well-rested and nourishing your body, you’ll feel the difference it makes.

It’s OK to Say “No.”

Look, I’m all about doing the best you can, challenging yourself, and helping people out where possible. But sometimes, you just have to say, “No.” And you know what? That’s just FINE.

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You know yourself, what you need, and what your limits are. Part of taking care of yourself is listening to that voice that’s saying “I don’t want to do this,” or “This doesn’t feel right for me.” It’s okay to acknowledge that and respect yourself. You’re thinking those things for a reason. 

Not every person or project that comes your way is going to be good or right for you. When that’s the case, have the courage to say no. Thank you, next. 

Be Kind to Yourself

I’m going to fill you in on a little secret: I have an inner Regina George. When I feel doubtful, critical, or just plain bad about myself, it’s Mean Jessica. She shows up daily with some sass about what I’m not doing right and what a piece of garbage I am. 

I’ve gotten to the point, though, where I stop, notice her, give her mercy, and move it along. I’m going to go ahead and guess you might have an inner mean girl, too, who’s ready to pounce on you in a tough moment. Taking care of yourself means acknowledging those mean thoughts, but not entertaining them.

Would you let someone say those negative things to your best friend? Hell no! You have to love yourself enough to stand up for yourself, even when it’s standing up to your own thoughts. When you feel that meanness creeping up in your head, stop. Breathe into your heart, and show yourself some love. All your inner “mean girl” is really after is a little self-care and affirmation.

Take Care of Yourself By Honoring Your Emotions

Of course, it’s more fun to experience happiness and joy than it is to feel sad or angry. But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t give yourself permission to feel less pleasant emotions when you have them. Life’s not all rainbows and endless Cheez-Its, after all. There’s no shame in feeling things like–sadness, anger, jealousy, guilt. It means you’re human.

 The idea is, to let your emotions run through you. Emotions are meant to be felt. Letting yourself experience the full range of emotions–the good, the bad, and even the ugly crying kind–is an important part of taking care of yourself.

Holding in your feelings and stifling them is kind of like shaking up a Coke. When you pop the tab off, it explodes. Except, when you bottle up your emotions, it can cause long-term mental struggles and in some cases, physical discomfort.

It’s a lot healthier and better for your mind and body if you can welcome those feelings and let yourself experience them. Scream into the pillow, have a good cry, journal, or do whatever you need to to let it all out. Allowing emotions to run through you is cathartic and ultimately, it helps you move beyond them.

Shut Down the Judgement

More often than not, we’re our own worst enemies and critics. We go through life making goals and dreaming of what we want to do and who we want to be. And when we “fall short,” or those things don’t happen, we beat ourselves up. I want you to read this part very carefully: Stop. Judging. Yourself.

You’re doing the best you can. We all make mistakes. Likely, you have those things you like to keep beating yourself up about. But, those moments, the ones where you wish you’d have done it all differently, tend to be the ones where your greatest lessons come from.

So the next time you hear that mean girl (remember her? yeah, she’s not going anywhere) start saying something judgy to you, hear her, send her a silent blessing and then remember the truth. Remember you deserve patience and that your path in life is perfectly imperfect. Save that judgment for the next season of The Bachelor.

Tell Yourself “I Love You.”

… and I mean it. At the end of the day, taking care of yourself is loving yourself. Accepting who you are at your very best, at your very worst, and everything in between is what self-care’s all about. It might feel a little silly, sure. But in moments of doubt, insecurity, and fear, stopping and saying “I love you” to yourself aloud is powerful. 

Need a love-yourself boost? Grab my Yoga Body Makeover Course for a fun and easy way to make self-care a priority!