Does the word “boundaries” scare you? The idea of saying no or drawing a line in the sand about anything in your personal life or work can freak you out if you’re used to people-pleasing. You might wonder if people will be offended or what they’ll think. But you know what? Setting boundaries is a good thing.
I mean it. Setting boundaries and holding them firmly is a really important step to take to protect your mental health and your overall happiness. And once you get started, you’ll find yourself feeling more confident about creating the boundaries you need.
Here are some of the benefits of setting boundaries, and my tips for helping you stick to them!
What Does Setting Boundaries Mean?
Let’s rewind a minute. Before I tell you all the reasons you should set boundaries, let’s be clear about what setting boundaries means.
Boundaries are simply standards for what we’re okay with and what we’re not okay with when it comes to how people treat and interact with us. They’re about creating expectations for what we’ll accept and won’t accept.
A boundary in your personal life might be not putting up with a loved one’s irrational outbursts (yikes), or maybe not letting someone speak to you a certain way. Professionally, it might be protecting set times you are unavailable to clients or customers or choosing not to work with people who behave in a way that makes you uncomfortable.
Boundaries might be small or big, subtle or important. Whatever the scale of importance to you, you’re allowed to set boundaries that help you maintain your well-being.
Benefits of Setting Boundaries
You’re Meeting Your Needs
Look, we all have different needs we’re tending to in different areas of our life. Balance, structure, rest, time with loved ones, self care, movement, alone time, time to spend with a spiritual community are just a few needs. Setting boundaries is one of the best ways to prioritize your needs and create a life that supports meeting them.
Say, for example, you set a boundary with that relative who puts you on edge at family gatherings. Once you let them know you don’t like them speaking a certain way, if they continue, you might remove yourself from the conversation. In doing that, you’re protecting your need for calm and peace.
In that moment, it might be just saving yourself from discomfort. But in the big picture, you’re making sure your mind and body are getting what they require to feel their best.
Same goes for setting professional boundaries. Let’s say you let clients know you don’t answer emails over the weekend. Some might be fine with it, and sure, it could potentially frustrate any weekend warriors you work with. However, what that means for you is that your weekend is your time to focus on your personal life and the things you want to spend time on in those days. Maybe that’s when you relax or spend time with your kids. That boundary is crucial to helping you meet your needs.
Setting Boundaries Helps You Communicate Better
One of the most important aspects of setting boundaries is clearly communicating them. That means not being vague or leaving room for interpretation.. You’ve gotta be clear and to the point. When you set a boundary, there should be no question about what you will or won’t tolerate.
Think about how many other areas of your life where clear communication will benefit you. At work, at home, with your kids, and in so many other relationships: being clear and concise is key to good and productive communication.
You’ll Be Less Stressed
When you aren’t setting boundaries for yourself and letting others’ behavior dictate your life, it’s exhausting. Everyone you deal with is managing different levels of their own stress or problems. If you don’t have a boundary in place, their stress and problems can’t infiltrate your headspace. No thanks!
You have enough on your plate navigating the layers of your life, good and bad. Setting boundaries helps you limit your energy to managing your stresses, not others’.
Setting Boundaries Makes You More Compassionate
Look, setting boundaries is something positive you’re doing for yourself. You’re showing yourself compassion and self care by protecting your mind, your emotions, and your time. And when you’re practicing being more compassionate toward yourself, it’s only natural you’ll be better about showing compassion for others.
You’ll Get to Do More of What You Want to Do
How much of your time do you spend doing things you don’t want to be doing? Calls after your working hours? Overextending yourself to help friends or family out?
Now imagine how it would feel if you could trim some of those obligations out of your days. If you could say no to things outside of your actual responsibilities? Doesn’t it sound kind of amazing?
Setting boundaries gives you more opportunities to focus on the work and activities that fulfill you. You can manage the demands on your time much better when you aren’t biting off more than you can chew.
Holding Boundaries Will Make You More Confident
Sure, setting a boundary might feel like you’re taking a big step… but maintaining that boundary? Ooph, it can be tough to start.
Having to tell someone no, communicating your expectations, and sticking up for yourself can feel straight-up strange when it’s new to you. You might feel like you’re not being helpful, like you’re being difficult, or in some way, like you’re letting someone down.
The great thing is, though, that after the first time you hold a boundary, it does get easier. Once you get a taste of living that life I talked about, the one where you are only doing the things you should be doing and want to be doing? It’s hard to turn back.
You’ll feel so much more confident in your choices in general, and in sticking to your guns about the things that matter to you. I promise!
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